I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
