can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize