I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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