Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
