I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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