i think my tv is drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
