Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize