She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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