honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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