I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
do herpes really smell.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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