I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
