i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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