question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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