I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize