You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize