if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
