scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
