He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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