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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

  (817): View more from Texas

  could you get any more awkward?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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• (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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• (914): View more from New York

  I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....

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• (407): View more from Florida

  it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.

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