Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
