I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
barbara walters just said penis...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
