She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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