Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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