If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
