i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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