If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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