I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
