She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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