Its about making memories worth repressing
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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