She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
