There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
