i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
