About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
