your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
