Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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