Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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