At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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