kristin has been a bad kristin
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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