shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
only if we run a train.
done.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Boobs are out for the taking
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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