A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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