So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
