Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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