Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
