glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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