Pregnant stripper...not hot.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
