Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
