She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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