Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
