obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
