he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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