Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize