STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
