i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
