Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
