Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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