she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think a kid would responsible me up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
