whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
