i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
