Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
